| Tell me, like one good fellow to another, is... 281 |
[Jan. 29th, 2010|07:30 am] |
Tell me, like one good fellow to another, is there any one else that you care for? And if there is I'll never trouble you a hair's breadth again, but will be, if you will let me, a very faithful friend
My dear Mina, why are men so noble when we women are so little worthy of them? Here was I almost making fun of this great hearted, true gentlemanI burst into tears, I am afraid, my dear, you will think this a very sloppy letter in more ways than one, and I really felt very badly
Why can't they let a girl marry three men, or as many as want her, and save all this trouble? But this is heresy, and I must not say itI am glad to say that, though I was crying, I was able to look into MrMorris' brave eyes, and I told him out straight?
"Yes, there is some one I love, though he has not told me yet that he even loves me I was right to speak to him so frankly, for quite a light came into his face, and he put out both his hands and took mine, I think I put them into his, and said in a hearty way?
"That's my brave girlIt's better worth being late for a chance of winning you than being in time for any other girl in the worldIf it's for me, I'm a hard nut to crack, and I take it standing upIf that other fellow doesn't know his happiness, well, he'd better look for it soon, or he'll have to deal with meLittle girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that's rarer than a lover, it's more selfish anyhowMy dear, I'm going to have a pretty lonely walk between this and Kingdom ComeWon't you give me one kiss? It'll be something to keep off the darkness now and thenYou can, you know, if you like, for that other good fellow, or you could not love him, hasn't spoken yet
That quite won me, Mina, for it was brave and sweet of him, and noble too, to a rival, wasn't it? And he so sad, so I leant over and kissed him
He stood up with my two hands in his, and as he looked down into my face, I am afraid I was blushing very much, he said, "Little girl, I hold your hand, and you've kissed me, and if these things don't make us friends nothing ever willThank you for your sweet honesty to me, and goodbye
He wrung my hand, and taking up his hat, went straight out of the room without looking back, without a tear or a quiver or a pause, and I am crying like a baby
Oh, why must a man like that be made unhappy when there are lots of girls about who would worship the very ground he trod on? I know I would if I were free, only I don't want to be freeMy dear, this quite upset me, and I feel I cannot write of happiness just at once, after telling you of it, and I don't wish to tell of the number Three until it can be all happyEver your loving?
Lucy
P-Oh, about number Three, I needn't tell you of number Three, need I? Besides, it was all so confusedIt seemed only a moment from his coming into the room till both his arms were round me, and he was kissing meI am very, very happy, and I don't know what I have done to deserve itI must only try in the future to show that I am not ungrateful to God for all His goodness to me in sending to me such a lover, such a husband, and such a friendSEWARD'S DIARY (Kept in phonograph)
25 May-Ebb tide in appetite todayCannot eat, cannot rest, so diary insteadSince my rebuff of yesterday I have a sort of empty feelingNothing in the world seems of sufficient importance to be worth the doingAs I knew that the only cure for this sort of thing was work, I went amongst the patientsI picked out one who has afforded me a study of much interestHe is so quaint that I am determined to understand him as well as I canToday I seemed to get nearer than ever before to the heart of his mystery
I questioned him more fully than I had ever done, with a view to making myself master of the facts of his hallucinationIn my manner of doing it there was, I now see, something of crueltyI seemed to wish to keep him to the point of his madness, a thing which I avoid with the patients as I would the mouth of hell Under what circumstances would I not avoid the pit of hell?) Omnia Romae venalia suntHell has its price! If there be anything behind this instinct it will be valuable to trace it afterwards accurately, so I had better commence to do so, therefore?
RSanguine temperament, great physical strength, morbidly excitable, periods of gloom, ending in some fixed idea which I cannot make |
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