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November 10th, 2006

10:42 am - JacqueFromTexas: The Continuing Story... The saga resumes at http://jacquefromtexas.blogspot.com/. Although I deeply love this blog, I don't love that the site is down for days at a time. I also don't like that I can't find an administrator or have my technical problems resolved. I'm gladly pay to stay here and have reliability, but since I haven't been given that option, I'll see you at http://jacquefromtexas.blogspot.com/ Current Mood: moving... Current Music: Jacque's Driving to Houston Mix...

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November 8th, 2006

02:51 pm - Jacque's cashing in her bad day. I'm perky, bubbly, effervescent, ad nauseum 99.9999% of the time. I never have a bad day. Except today. Today sucks. Since I'm not at all moody and that I'm typically upbeat, I reserve the right to have a bad day when the occaision really freaking calls for it. And that's today! Today's is my bad day. I'm cashing in my bad day. Current Mood: having a bad day Current Music: Too Little Too Late- JoJo

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12:35 pm - Let us heed the words of Wesley J. Smith. The struggle over the intrinsic value of human life could not be more important. We cannot afford to allow our disappointments to disable our will. From Secondhand Smoke Don't get me wrong, I'm still devastated. But I refuse to let that inhibit my quest for bio-ethical equality. Let's keep on with the keepin' on... Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: We Belong- Pat Benetar

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09:22 am - I have never been more depressed in my LIFE... The pain, it stings. Every situation in which humans could have chosen life for the innocent, they chose death. Ref. 6 in South Dakota, our constitutional challenge to Roe v. Wade, was defeated taking with it not only the lives of 1000 babies per year in South Dakota, but hope for the lives of babies across the United States. Prop 85 in Califoria and Oregon Measure 2 (parental notification for abortion) were both defeated, assuring that teenage girls will continue to be victims of statuatory rape and sexual molestation. These young girls' futures will be shaped by a decision they made when they were too young to contemplate the consequences. They'll be alone to suffer the depression, drug abuse, promiscuity, alcholism, eating disorders, etc. There's no estimating how many babies will be lost because of the defeat of these two measures. Missouri Amendment 2 passed allowing for killing and medical experimentation on the youngest human beings as well as human cloning. Thousands of unborn babies were handed a death sentence last night, the hope for unborn babies across America was slashed. My faith is humanity is not low, it's in the negative. Crist won in Florida. I hate that man. This is a man that is supposably pro-life but completely neglected his duties for over ten years to protect the life of a disabled woman in his state, as the people of his state begged him to do his damn job. Santorum, our only passionate voice for the unborn, lost in Pennsylvania. He was also my hope for President in 2008. Now we'll get some moderate like McCain or Guiliani which utterly screws our hope for filling supreme court vacancies like the rumored John Paul Stevens seat. Steele, a refreshing change for the state of Maryland, a state that hasn't passed one pro-life law since Roe, yep, he lost. Pelosi, an unhinged infanticidal maniac, will now control the House. The only redemption that we have is that Texas maintains its pro-life legislature and executive branch, making my attempts to overturn the Texas Futile Care Law still viable. At least I beleive so based on what little research I'm done. Even if it's not so, I need to cling to it for as long a possible to hold on. I'm simply nausiated. Current Mood: depressed Current Music: Dear God...I can hear my spirit breaking...

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November 7th, 2006

03:29 pm - Winners never quit and quitters never win, but those that never win and never quit are idiots. I'm snowed. My major professor and the director of my program has suggested I drop that political science class that has pounded every previous Ph.D. student in my program (although he suggested me taking it in the first place. I'm choosing not to be angry). His advice, along with the wise counsel of Pam, a smart lady in my program (ahead of me by a year) who suggested that I cut my losses. This is odd for me, since I don't drop classes. I don't quit. Ever. Ever ever, even when it's wisest to do so. But I decided to heed their wisdom, lifting a huge burden from my shoulders regarding my GPA, my degree plan, etc. And yet I am still in the class from hell. Why, you ask? When I talked to the professor (who has been accomodating and altogether awesome), he told me that he would drop me with a W (not a WF) if I did poorly on the exam Thursday after next. He essentially took the gamble out of this equation: I work hard and give it my all and if I still do poorly, it won't hurt me at all, but, if I do well, I will succeed in the semester with 3 hours of research credit that I need, only at the loss of my sanity and emotional stability (which I kissed goodbye when I started this program anyway). I'm grateful and yet bummed. I was so relieved at the prospect of dropping the class, getting the time to focus on my other class, my degree plan committee, my GRE and, oh yeah, my full-time (often on weekends also) job. Now I have to extend my stay in hell for another week of torturous study, and if I am blessed and my work pays off, I'll have yet another final project to complete. But the goal here is to succeed, to gain credit (not lose the money and anguish I have invested thus far), and therefore if I accomplish that---I have won. The goal here is not to make this as painless as possible. It's inherently painful and if it weren't difficult, it simply wouldn't be worth having. There's also the factor that if I do succeed, I am once again the hard-working, kick-@ss woman that can accomplish anything she desires, a hard-earned reputation that I'd like to keep. I'm grateful for this opportunity, yet I want to collapse into my own tears at the thought of all this work. So, I'm settling in for evenings full of political science goodness and serious prayer*. Please feel free to join with me in beseeching God for a victorious end. *Not tonight, though. Tonight I'm voting in Dallas, picking up Ethiopian take-out** and returning home to watch the election returns. **My fast ends at 11:00 tonight. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Melanie- Weird Al Yankovic

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02:13 pm - I love that my friends call me to ask me who to vote for... I hate that they don't already know, though. Current Mood: tired Current Music: Travis Tritt- Drift off to Dream

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November 3rd, 2006

11:22 am - I beginning to desire domesticity. A single mom showed up hungry, having walked in the cold to our food pantry only to find it closed. With the director out sick and the other staffer on vacation, we simply put a sign on the door telling people to try back later. But in this case, the woman came to my office and explained her situation. I went next door to get her some essentials (regardless of protocol) to find a volunteer and her children packing food baskets and stocking shelves. I gave her a hug and asked if there was anyone else in the pantry today. She replied, "Nope. Just me and my team." I love that she calls them "her team." I want a team. I want children to train up in the way they should go, children who go with me to every church service, volunteer with me to help the needy, walk with me as we March for Life. It reminds me of Terri Schindler's 2003 vigil where I heard a child ask, "Mom, when are we going to go?" The mother replied, "We stay here all night. That's how we show people we love Terri." I thought about how that child was learning at a young age to put the welfare of others above their personal comfort and about how that mother was giving her child an amazing gift by teaching them the value of humanity. I want to be able to pass that on. I'm beginning to desire a home, something inconsequential to me just a year ago. I'm wanting pink fuzzy slippers and cocoa by the fireplace, names on Christmas stockings and sticky peanut butter kisses. I'm beginning to desire someone to care for my whole life long, someone warm beside me every night. I'm now wanting to be devoted to a family when before I wanted to be devoted solely to the pursuit of my dreams of bioethical equality and wide-scale policy reform. I'm beginning to see that I can have both. I may have a husband that requires help with his calling. I may have diapers to change in the capitol bathroom and children to hush in the rotunda, but they'd all just be an addition to my "team." Huh. Who'd have thought? Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Regie Hamm- Babies

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November 2nd, 2006

09:54 am - Chunkybutt needs prayers- They're reconsidering the DNR order. I thought we were over this, but apparently not. Because of the infection she survived (in spite of the medical neglect), the courts are reconsidering the DNR order at the request of doctors that have been predicting her "imminent" death for 3 freaking years now! See this balloon! It says, 3! She's growing, she's fighting. I will never understand this death wish they have for my pretty baby. Then again, Terri survived numerous infections without treatment and two starvation/dehydration attempts before they finally succeeded. The enemy and his minions are relentless. But Jesus is more powerful. PLEASE, PLEASE PRAY FOR CHARLOTTE PAIGE WYATT. Current Mood: scared Current Music: All Who Are Thirsty- Antioch Community Church

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09:48 am - One degree short of being the most brilliant policy analyst on the planet... Just keeping my eyes on the prize... Current Mood: happy Current Music: I Drive All Night- Cyndi Lauper

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October 31st, 2006

09:22 pm - You might be an overworked Ph.D. student if... Just the thought of going to bed early excites you to your very core. Goodnight, y'all. Current Mood: excited Current Music: Phoebe battles the Pink Robots by the Flaming Lips

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09:45 am - Seven years ago today, Jesus saved my soul. And I could sing unending songs of how You saved my soul! I could dance a thousand miles because of Your great love!" -The Happy Song It hit me as I was walking up the steps to my classroom, "Today is Halloween. I was saved on Halloween, 1999." It's sad that the day I was saved from an eternity of well-deserved hellfire is something that I just remember when I see people dressed as witches with plastic pumpkins. The fact that Christ suffered and died for me 2000 years ago, before I was born, so that I would never have to endure the just punishment for my wickedness is something that, like a spoiled child, I often take for granted. I was reprieved from an eternal sentence separated from God, in a lake of burning sulfur, simply because I am loved. I did nothing to deserve this mercy, let alone the abundant life and eternity in paradise that has been given to me by grace alone, but I have it. Can you even fathom that? I really can't. But He suffered a fate of pain and horror I can't even imagine, to save me from an eternity of pain and horror I can't even fathom and will never experience. Thus He gave me something for which I could never even be truly grateful! How amazing is that? Words just don't do justice to that kind of love. And, and, my simply accepting this love, this gift, doing NOTHING of my own merit, caused the angels to rejoice 7 years ago today. Woah. Thank you, Jesus. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: The Happy Song- Chris Tomlin

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October 30th, 2006

06:21 pm - The Texas Futile Care Law makes me cry. This is step one of my dissertation and the more research I compile, the more incensed and depressed I become. I can't wait for the internet guy to come to my house on Wednesday so thereafter I can work from home and cry all I please. Current Mood: sad Current Music: Westlife- Swear It Again

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05:28 pm - I LOVE life and living. Really. The smells, the feels, the tastes, the excitement, the heartbreak. All of it. Even now, as I settle in for a long night of writing a research paper in the library, I'm just so grateful that I'm here. I'm struggling with heartbreak right now, being overwhelmed at both work and school, short on money, short on time, missing my friends, missing former loves. This is not the height of Jacquelineness, but it's pretty amazing nonetheless. I recognize that I have it better than most. I realize that I am blessed beyond measure but even situations that would elicit complaints from people are merely another aspect of life to experience. Perhaps I am young and naive, perhaps you've been hurt more deeply than I have- it's conceivable, but regardless---I'm freaking glad to be in this nasty, sinful fallen world, simply to experience the goodness that is still left untainted although it's difficult to find. The sun on your face, the sound of your dog's tail thumping against the door in excitment as she realizes that you're home for the day, the taste of a ripe strawberry, the squeeze of your mother, the feel of chilly night air, stars. I like all that. I really do. Current Mood: grateful Current Music: I'm Still Here- Vertical Horizon

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04:21 pm - Jacque's Perfect Man...Why not? Let's be superficial! I guess you've been noticed the disproportionate amount of blogging I've done lately about men and how they suck, but it's also been an impetus to subjects about which I haven't thought. Por ejemplo, everything that I don't like about my previous relationships have by default generated a list of things I realize that I want. I've never before thought about what I want. Although I desperately want to be rational and dismiss my feelings if they don't make logical sense, I have finally conceded that I am a woman. I'm irrational. What I want may not be rational or even real, but let's suspend reality and get shallow for fun. I did, and I assembled my perfect man (in Microsoft Paint, so it's not well done, but it gets the point across): eventhisdoessomethin4me So what do we have? 1. Well, that's Dan Haseltine's head. Dan Haseltine is the gorgeous, evangelical, musical genius with a voice like honey that heads up my favorite band, Jars of Clay (be sure to check out their new album, in stores now). So, this represents cross-seeking, physical beauty, talent and the ability to lull me to sleep everynight with a voice from his throat that sounds like a chorus of little birdies. 2. That's the Mummy's body from the Mummy movies. The actor is Arnold Vosloo and you could freeze ice on his thighs (there's a scene in the second Mummy movie where he's banging a gong. If you pause it just right, you see a lot of rock hard thigh goodness. Ask Hayley and I how we know). Anyway, his body simply represents a beautiful body. No need for any symbolism on this one. 3. That's a Pro-Woman, Pro-Child, Pro-Life button (don't try to figure out what it's pinned to, I didn't give this that much thought). So, we gots ourselves a pro-life activist that by virtue of his pro-lifeness is respectful of women, their anatomy and reproductive capacity. Someone who also has a biblical view of children as a gift from Heaven. Someone that recognizes that life in all its developmental stages has dignity and is deserving of legal protection. Oh, oh. I don't want to go back in and superimpose a hammer into his hand but he also knows how to fix things around the house, cause I just bought a home and fixing stuff myself is something I have no desire to do. :) So there we go. I think I'm actually dumber for having done this but that was FUN. Now I must write a literature review. Current Mood: giddy Current Music: Time After Time- Quietdrive

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10:36 am - 338 Babies Saved in Dallas! Praise Jesus! I just got the word that so far this year, 338 women have turned away from Dallas abortion centers after talking to sidewalk counselors. This represents 338 women that were directed to real help, not a business that wanted to take their money, kill their babies and kick them back out onto the street, bleeding and at a higher risk for future physical, emotional and spiritual problems. That also represents at least 338 babies that will now get a chance at life. Praise Jesus! Praise him till your voice is hoarse and your knuckles turn white! :) Current Mood: grateful Current Music: Your Grace is Enough-Chris Tomlin

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October 27th, 2006

04:01 pm - Chunkymonkey's site is working... Yay! The url is http://savecharlotte.com/ Here's a picture of Chunkybutt and her daddy for your enjoyment. socuteyouare!!! Doesn't she look precious in those cute sunglasses? Current Mood: pleased Current Music: Headstrong- Jars of Clay

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12:34 pm - Charlotte's website has been shut down by the UK. Apparently they are afraid for people to know what they've been doing to my little girl. (Note: I say "my" because "this" isn't strong enough. I seriously, seriously love Charlotte.) From Pro-Life Blogs The British Courts appear to have decided that information or pictures of Charlotte Wyatt should no longer be available to the public. An order was put out on the 20th of October and Google's Blogger.com has deleted the website today. The blog's authors were sent the message: Hello, We'd like to inform you that we've received a court order regarding your blog charlottewyatt.blogspot.com. In accordance with the court order, we've been forced to remove your blog. Thank you for your understanding. Sincerely, The Blogger Team One immediate question that comes to mind is why did the British court decide to supress information related to Charlotte? Has the order also been placed upon her parents? What was being published that was harmful to the child and who is afraid of public accountability? Apparently Charlotte's Blog was making too much of an impact to go unchecked. However, the censorship hasn't deterred the Save Charlotte Team. They've set-up a new site here. HT: Christina at Real Choice Update: It appears that there is trouble with the site or that it's been removed in the 5 minutes I've been typing this entry. I have email contact with the family representative, so I will post any updates I get in a timely fashion. Current Mood: infuriated Current Music: Toadies- Tyler

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12:23 pm - I only see my friends at the abortion clinic. We've established that I'm not normal. This is proven by the series of joyful reunions I had while sidewalk counseling this morning. I saw Diane, Bill, Cleo and Carol. All were there to sidewalk counsel, all of whom I haven't seen in months. It was delightful to see them. We have to plan to get together- somewhere other than the abortion clinic. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Stevie B- When I Dream About You

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October 26th, 2006

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