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"If you have to take a leak, Robert, for God's... 375 [Mar. 3rd, 2010|02:54 am]
"If you have to take a leak, Robert, for God's sake go outside and stop pacing around
"We never did finish that argument"Well, what do you want me to admit, that you're a God?"
"You know, if there is a God, Robert, he's just like me
"Uses the common denominator techniques
Now, they could talk talk talkAnd yet for the moment they were quietBetween them at this instant was the uncomfortable awkward realization that they did not like each other at all
The conversation wavered back again, passed through a minor discussion, flitted about the campaignAfter a decent interval, Hearn left him and went back to his fly tentBut in the darkness, listening to the stiff starched rustle of the
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There was no rhyme or reason to those snapshots,... 760 [Feb. 13th, 2010|02:51 am]
There was
no rhyme or reason to those snapshots, although
when I told Kamen this in an e-mail, he responded
that the unconscious mind writes poetry if it's
left alone
108
I drew my mailboxI drew the stuff growing around
Big Pink, then had Jack buy me a book - Common
Plants of the Florida Coast - so I could put names
to my picturesNaming seemed to help - to add
power, somehowBy then I was on my second box of
colored pencilsand I had a third waiting in
the wingsThere was aloe vera
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Wilson shook his head, and leaned forward,... 781 [Feb. 12th, 2010|02:44 am]
Wilson shook his head, and leaned forward, holding Croft's leg"Sergeant -- Ah'm gonna call ya sergeant 'cause you're so goddam chicken -- sergeant, you got no call to be hittin' the sack 'cause it ain't even gonna be dark for an hour yet, maybe two
Gallagher smiled lopsidedly"Don't ya see that fuggin Croft is blind now?"
Croft leaned down and grasped Gallagher by the collar"I don' care drunk I am, none you men got a call to talk to me that way, none of you men He pushed Gallagher back suddenly"I'm rememberin' just what the hell you say His voice trailed off"I'm
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He remembered the expression on Mary's face in... 578 [Feb. 6th, 2010|02:57 am]
He remembered the expression on Mary's face in the first days of their marriage when she would set a plate down before him with food upon itHer wrists were very slim and he could see again the golden hairs on her forearm
"I bet a fuggin Yid was the doctor," he said aloudThe sound startled him, and he rolled over on his backHe was becoming angry as he thought about it, and once or twice he muttered, "The Yid killed her It relieved the tension he was feelingHe felt a joyful self-pity, and he let it flow through him for several minutesHis shirt was wet, and every few seconds he would grind his teeth because the tension on his jaws pleased him
He felt suddenly clammy, and with a rush he began really to understand that his wife was deadHe felt an awful pain and longing which mounted in his chest until he began to weepThe sounds became noticeable to him after a minute or two, and he stopped, a little terrified, for they seemed remote from himIt was as if he had a coating of insulation about all his feelings, and the
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Its polished surface struck me as a... 201 [Feb. 5th, 2010|02:59 am]
Its polished surface
struck me as a pitch-perfect mockery of life
"Where are they?" I asked Wireman"Where are her
chinas? Where's the Village?"
"I boxed everything up and put it in the summerkitchen,"
he said, pointing vaguely"No real
reason, I justmuchacho,
would you like some green tea? Or a beer?"
I asked for waterJack said he'd take a beer, if
that was all rightWireman set off to get them
842
He made it as far as the hallway before starting
to cryThey were big, noisy sobs, the kind you
can't stifle no matter how hard you try
Jack and I looked at each other, then looked away
xi
He was gone a lot longer than it usually takes
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They glimpsed its upper slopes through the fog of... 609 [Feb. 4th, 2010|02:54 am]
They glimpsed its upper slopes through the fog of their effort, followed one another up the unending serpentines, and plodded along gratefully whenever their route was level for a time
Minetta and Wyman and Roth were the most wretchedFor several hours they had been at the tail of the column, keeping up to the men ahead with the greatest difficulty, and there was a bond between the three of themMinetta and Wyman felt sorry for Roth, liked him because he was even more helpless than theyAnd Roth looked to them for support, knew in the knowledge of fatigue that they would not scorn him because they were only a little less prostrated than he
He was making the most intense effort of his lifeAll the weeks and months Roth had been in the platoon he had absorbed each insult, each reproof with more and more painInstead of becoming
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Was it disgust? Abruptly he laughed with... 93 [Feb. 3rd, 2010|03:06 am]
Was it disgust? Abruptly he laughed with sarcastic glee"You know, Robert, you're a liberal
He said this with a tense rapt compulsion as if he were impelled to see how far he could rock the boulder, especially when it had pinched his toes just a moment beforeThis was by far the greatest liberty he had ever taken with the GeneralAnd even more, the most irritating libertyProfanity or vulgarity always seemed to scrape the General's spine
The General's eyes closed as if he were contemplating the damage wreaked inside himselfWhen he opened them, he spoke in a low mild voice He stared at Hearn dourly for a moment, and then said, "Suppose you salute me When Hearn had
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It was caked on my right cheek like jellyI... 281 [Feb. 2nd, 2010|03:09 am]
It was caked on my right cheek
like jellyI remember sitting up and saying, 'I'm
a dandy in aspic' and trying to remember if aspic
was some kind of jellyI said, 'No jelly in the
fruit-bowl' And saying that seemed so rational it
was like passing a sanity testI began to doubt
that I'd shot myselfIt seemed more likely that
I'd gone to sleep at the dining room table only
thinking of shooting myself, fallen off my chair,
and hit my headThat's where the blood came from
In fact, it seemed almost certain, given the fact
that I was moving around and talkingI told
myself to say something elseTo say my mother's
nameInstead I said, 'Cash crop
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"Have you got it adjusted right?" Hennessey... 375 [Feb. 1st, 2010|02:53 am]
"Have you got it adjusted right?" Hennessey askedHis voice was stiff and quivered a little
"Fug the adjustments," Red said"It just makes me ache somewhere elseI ain't built for a pack, I got too many bones He kept on talking, glancing at Hennessey every now and then to see whether he was less nervousThe air was chill, and the sun at his left was still low and quiet without any heatHe stamped his feet, breathing the curious odor of a ship's deck, oil and tar and the fish smell of the water
"When do we get into the boats?" Hennessey asked
The shelling was still going on over the beach, and the island looked pale green in the dawnA thin wispy line of smoke trailed along the shore"What! Do ya think this is gonna be any different today? I figure we'll be on deck all morning But as he spoke, he noticed
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His voice was stiff and quivered a little "Fug... 531 [Feb. 1st, 2010|02:53 am]
His voice was stiff and quivered a little
"Fug the adjustments," Red said"It just makes me ache somewhere elseI ain't built for a pack, I got too many bones He kept on talking, glancing at Hennessey every now and then to see whether he was less nervousThe air was chill, and the sun at his left was still low and quiet without any heatHe stamped his feet, breathing the curious odor of a ship's deck, oil and tar and the fish smell of the water
"When do we get into the boats?" Hennessey asked
The shelling was still going on over the beach, and the island looked pale green in the dawnA thin wispy line of smoke trailed along the shore"What! Do ya think this is gonna be any different today? I figure we'll be on deck all morning But as he spoke, he noticed a group of landing craft circling about a mile from them in the
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The setting sun, low down in the sky, was just... 93 [Jan. 31st, 2010|02:43 am]
The setting sun, low down in the sky, was just dropping behind KettlenessThe red light was thrown over on the East Cliff and the old abbey, and seemed to bathe everything in a beautiful rosy glowWe were silent for a while, and suddenly Lucy murmured as if to herself?

"His red eyes again! They are just the same It was such an odd expression, coming apropos of nothing, that it quite startled meI slewed round a little, so as to see Lucy well without seeming to stare at her, and saw that she was in a half dreamy state, with an odd look on her face that I could not quite make out, so I said nothing, but followed her eyesShe appeared to be looking over at our own seat, whereon was a dark figure seated aloneI was quite a little startled myself, for it seemed for an instant as if the stranger had great eyes like burning flames, but a second look dispelled the illusionThe red sunlight was shining on the windows of StMary's Church behind our seat, and as the sun dipped there was just sufficient change in the refraction and reflection to make it appear as if the light movedI called Lucy's attention to the peculiar effect, and she became herself with a start, but she looked sad all the sameIt may have been that she was thinking of that terrible night up thereWe never refer to it, so I said nothing, and we went home to dinnerLucy had a headache and went early to bedI saw her asleep, and went out for a little stroll myself

I walked along the cliffs to the westward, and was full of sweet sadness, for I was thinking of JonathanWhen coming home, it was then bright moonlight, so bright that, though the front of our part of the Crescent was in shadow, everything could be well seen, I threw a glance up at our window, and saw Lucy's head leaning outI opened my handkerchief and waved itShe did not notice or make any movement whateverJust then, the moonlight crept round an angle of the building, and the light fell on the windowThere distinctly was Lucy with her head lying up against the side of the window sill and her eyes shutShe was fast asleep, and by her, seated on the window sill, was something that looked like a good-sized birdI was afraid she might get a chill, so I ran upstairs, but as I came into the room she was moving back to her bed, fast asleep, and breathing heavilyShe was holding her hand to her throat, as though to protect if from the cold

I did not wake her, but tucked her up warmlyI have taken care that the door is locked and the window securely fastened

She looks so sweet as she sleeps, but she is paler than is her wont, and there is a drawn, haggard look under her eyes which I do not likeI fear she is fretting about somethingI wish I could find out what it is-Rose later than usualLucy was languid and tired, and slept on after we had been calledWe had a happy surprise at breakfastArthur's father is better, and wants the marriage to come off soonLucy is full of quiet joy, and her mother is glad and sorry at onceLater on in the day she told me the causeShe is grieved to lose Lucy as her very own, but she is rejoiced that she is soon to have some one to protect herPoor dear, sweet lady! She confided to me that she has got her death warrantShe has not told Lucy, and made me promise secrecyHer doctor told her that within a few months, at most, she must die, for her heart is weakeningAt any time, even now, a sudden shock would be almost sure to kill herAh, we were wise to keep from her the affair of the dreadful night of Lucy's
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I shall write so soon as ever I canSEWARD'S DIARY... 62 [Jan. 30th, 2010|02:32 am]
I shall write so soon as ever I canSEWARD'S DIARY

26 September-Truly there is no such thing as finalityNot a week since I said "Finis," and yet here I am starting fresh again, or rather going on with the recordUntil this afternoon I had no cause to think of what is doneRenfield had become, to all intents, as sane as he ever wasHe was already well ahead with his fly business, and he had just started in the spider line also, so he had not been of any trouble to meI had a letter from Arthur, written on Sunday, and from it I gather that he is bearing up wonderfully wellQuincey Morris is with him, and that is much of a help, for he himself is a bubbling well of good spiritsQuincey wrote me a line too, and from him I hear that Arthur is beginning to recover something of his old buoyancy, so as to them all my mind is at restAs for myself, I was settling down to my work with the enthusiasm which I used to have for it, so that I might fairly have said that the wound which poor Lucy left on me was becoming cicatrised

Everything is, however, now reopened, and what is to be the end God only knowsI have an idea that Van Helsing thinks he knows, too, but he will only let out enough at a time to whet curiosityHe went to Exeter yesterday, and stayed there all nightToday he came back, and almost bounded into the room at about half-past five o'clock, and thrust last night's "Westminster Gazette" into my hand

"What do you think of that?" he asked as he stood back and folded his arms

I looked over the paper, for I really did not know what he meant, but he took it from me and pointed out a paragraph about children being decoyed away at HampsteadIt did not convey much to me, until I reached a passage where it described small puncture wounds on their throatsAn idea struck me, and I looked up

"It is like poor Lucy's

"And what do you make of it?"

"Simply that there is some cause in commonWhatever it was that injured her has injured them I did not quite understand his answer

"That is true indirectly, but not directly

"How do you mean, Professor?" I askedI was a little inclined to take his seriousness lightly, for, after all, four days of rest and freedom from burning, harrowing, anxiety does help to restore one's spirits, but when I saw his face, it sobered meNever, even in the midst of our despair about poor Lucy, had he looked more stern

"Tell me!" I said"I can hazard no opinionI do not know what to think, and I have no data on which to found a conjecture

"Do you mean to tell me, friend John, that you have no suspicion as to what poor Lucy died of, not after all the hints given, not only by events, but by me?"

"Of nervous prostration following a great loss or waste of blood

"And how was the blood lost or wasted?" I shook my head

He stepped over and sat down beside me, and went on, "You are a clever man, friend JohnYou reason well, and your wit is bold, but you are too prejudicedYou do not let your eyes see nor your ears hear, and that which is outside your daily life is not of account to youDo you not think that there are things which you cannot understand, and yet which are, that some people see things that others cannot? But there are things old and new which must not be contemplated by men's eyes, because they know, or think they know, some things which other men have told themAh, it is the fault of our science that it wants to explain all, and if it explain not, then it says there is nothing to explainBut yet we see around us every day the growth of new beliefs, which think themselves new, and which are yet but the old, which pretend to be young, like the fine ladies at the operaI suppose now you do not believe in corporeal transferenceNo? Nor in
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I says to ?em, ?This yer young un?s mine, and not... 812 [Jan. 29th, 2010|07:24 am]
I says to ?em, ?This yer young un?s mine, and not yourn, and you?ve no kind o? business with itI?m going to sell it, first chance
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The owners of more than a hundred boats have... 205 [Jan. 28th, 2010|02:17 am]
The owners of more than a hundred boats have already given in their names as wishing to follow him to the grave

No trace has ever been found of the great dog, at which there is much mourning, for, with public opinion in its present state, he would, I believe, be adopted by the townTomorrow will see the funeral, and so will end this one more 'mystery of the sea'




MINA MURRAY'S JOURNAL

8 August-Lucy was very restless all night, and I too, could not sleepThe storm was fearful, and as it boomed loudly among the chimney pots, it made me shudderWhen a sharp puff came it seemed to be like a distant gunStrangely enough, Lucy did not wake, but she got up twice and dressed herselfFortunately, each time I awoke in time and managed to undress her without waking her, and got her back to bedIt is a very strange thing, this sleep-walking, for as soon as her will is thwarted in any physical way, her intention, if there be any, disappears, and she yields herself almost exactly to the routine of her life

Early in the morning we both got up and went down to the harbour to see if anything had happened in the nightThere were very few people about, and though the sun was bright, and the air clear and fresh, the big, grim-looking waves, that seemed dark themselves because the foam that topped them was like snow, forced themselves in through the mouth of the harbour, like a bullying man going through a crowdSomehow I felt glad that Jonathan was not on the sea last night, but on landBut, oh, is he on land or sea? Where is he, and how? I am getting fearfully anxious about himIf I only knew what to do, and could do anything!



10 August-The funeral of the poor sea captain today was most touchingEvery boat in the harbour seemed to be there, and the coffin was carried by captains all the way from Tate Hill Pier up to the churchyardLucy came with me, and we went early to our old seat, whilst the cortege of boats went up the river to the Viaduct and came down againWe had a lovely view, and saw the procession nearly all the wayThe poor fellow was laid to rest near our seat so that we stood on it, when the time came and saw everything

Poor Lucy seemed much upsetShe was restless and uneasy all the time, and I cannot but think that her dreaming at night is telling on herShe is quite odd in one thingShe will not admit to me that there is any cause for restlessness, or if there be, she does not understand it herself

There is an additional cause in that poor MrSwales was found dead this morning on our seat, his neck being brokenHe had evidently, as the doctor said, fallen back in the seat in some sort of fright, for there was a look of fear and horror on his face that the men said made them shudderPoor dear old man!

Lucy is so sweet and sensitive that she feels influences more acutely than other people doJust now she was quite upset by a little thing which I did not much heed, though I am myself very fond of animals

One of the men who came up here often to look for the boats was followed by his dogThe dog is always with himThey are both quiet persons, and I never saw the man angry, nor heard the dog barkDuring the service the dog would not come to its master, who was on the seat with us, but kept a few yards off, barking and howlingIts master spoke to it gently, and then harshly, and then angrilyBut it would neither come nor cease to make a noiseIt was in a fury, with its eyes savage, and all its hair bristling out like a cat's tail when puss is on the war path

Finally the man too got angry, and jumped down and kicked the dog, and then took it by the scruff of the neck and half dragged and half threw it on the tombstone on which the seat is fixedThe moment it touched the stone the poor thing began to trembleIt did not try to get away, but crouched down, quivering and cowering, and was in such a pitiable state of terror that I tried, though without effect, to comfort it

Lucy was full of pity, too, but she did not attempt to touch the dog, but looked at it in an agonised sort of
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?O, dear Uncle Tom! do wake,?do speak once more!... 720 [Jan. 27th, 2010|02:12 am]
?O, dear Uncle Tom! do wake,?do speak once more! Look up! Here?s Mas?r George,?your own little Mas?r GeorgeDon?t you know me??
?Mas?r George!? said Tom, opening his eyes, and speaking in a feeble voice
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I saw in his eyes something of that gathering... 267 [Jan. 26th, 2010|11:51 am]
I saw in his eyes something of that gathering wrath which was manifest when he hurled that fair woman from himHe explained to me that posts were few and uncertain, and that my writing now would ensure ease of mind to my friendsAnd he assured me with so much impressiveness that he would countermand the later letters, which would be held over at Bistritz until due time in case chance would admit of my prolonging my stay, that to oppose him would have been to create new suspicionI therefore pretended to fall in with his views, and asked him what dates I should put on the letters

He calculated a minute, and then said, "The first should be June 12, the second June 19, and the third June 29

I know now the span of my lifeGod help me!



28 May-There is a chance of escape, or at any rate of being able to send word homeA band of Szgany have come to the castle, and are encamped in the courtyardI have notes of them in my bookThey are peculiar to this part of the world, though allied to the ordinary gipsies all the world overThere are thousands of them in Hungary and Transylvania, who are almost outside all lawThey attach themselves as a rule to some great noble or boyar, and call themselves by his nameThey are fearless and without religion, save superstition, and they talk only their own varieties of the Romany tongue

I shall write some letters home, and shall try to get them to have them postedI have already spoken to them through my window to begin acquaintanceshipThey took their hats off and made obeisance and many signs, which however, I could not understand any more than I could their spoken language?

I have written the lettersMina's is in shorthand, and I simply ask MrHawkins to communicate with herTo her I have explained my situation, but without the horrors which I may only surmiseIt would shock and frighten her to death were I to expose my heart to herShould the letters not carry, then the Count shall not yet know my secret or the extent of my knowledge



I have given the lettersI threw them through the bars of my window with a gold piece, and made what signs I could to have them postedThe man who took them pressed them to his heart and bowed, and then put them in his capI stole back to the study, and began to readAs the Count did not come in, I have written here?



The Count has comeHe sat down beside me, and said in his smoothest voice as he opened two letters, "The Szgany has given me these, of which, though I know not whence they come, I shall, of course, take careSee!"--He must have looked at it-"One is from you, and to my friend Peter HawkinsThe other,"--here he caught sight of the strange symbols as he opened the envelope, and the dark look came into his face, and his eyes blazed wickedly,--"The other is a vile thing, an outrage upon friendship and hospitality! It is not signedWell! So it cannot matter to us And he calmly held letter and envelope in the flame of the lamp till they were consumed

Then he went on, "The letter to Hawkins, that I shall, of course send on, since it is yoursYour letters are sacred to meYour pardon, my friend, that unknowingly I did break the sealWill you not cover it again?" He held out the letter to me, and with a courteous bow handed me a clean envelope

I could only redirect it and hand it to him in silenceWhen he went out of the room I could hear the key turn softlyA minute later I went over and tried it, and the door was
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Hello, my account friends 752 [Jan. 26th, 2010|11:50 am]
Welcome to my first blog
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Drugs in Spain’s air [Jan. 26th, 2010|09:20 am]
Robert Langdon awoke with a start from his nightmare. The phone beside his bed was ringing. Dazed, he picked up the receiver.
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