| He was sulky, and so I came away
Later in the... 689 |
[Jan. 27th, 2010|02:16 am] |
He was sulky, and so I came away
Later in the day he sent for meOrdinarily I would not have come without special reason, but just at present I am so interested in him that I would gladly make an effortBesides, I am glad to have anything to help pass the timeHarker is out, following up clues, and so are Lord Godalming and QuinceyVan Helsing sits in my study poring over the record prepared by the HarkersHe seems to think that by accurate knowledge of all details he will light up on some clueHe does not wish to be disturbed in the work, without causeI would have taken him with me to see the patient, only I thought that after his last repulse he might not care to go againThere was also another reasonRenfield might not speak so freely before a third person as when he and I were alone
I found him sitting in the middle of the floor on his stool, a pose which is generally indicative of some mental energy on his partWhen I came in, he said at once, as though the question had been waiting on his lips"What about souls?"
It was evident then that my surmise had been correctUnconscious cerebration was doing its work, even with the lunaticI determined to have the matter out
"What about them yourself?" I asked
He did not reply for a moment but looked all around him, and up and down, as though he expected to find some inspiration for an answer
"I don't want any souls!" he said in a feeble, apologetic wayThe matter seemed preying on his mind, and so I determined to use it, to "be cruel only to be kind So I said, "You like life, and you want life?"
"Oh yes! But that is all rightYou needn't worry about that!"
"But," I asked, "how are we to get the life without getting the soul also?"
This seemed to puzzle him, so I followed it up, "A nice time you'll have some time when you're flying out here, with the souls of thousands of flies and spiders and birds and cats buzzing and twittering and moaning all around youYou've got their lives, you know, and you must put up with their souls!"
Something seemed to affect his imagination, for he put his fingers to his ears and shut his eyes, screwing them up tightly just as a small boy does when his face is being soapedThere was something pathetic in it that touched meIt also gave me a lesson, for it seemed that before me was a child, only a child, though the features were worn, and the stubble on the jaws was whiteIt was evident that he was undergoing some process of mental disturbance, and knowing how his past moods had interpreted things seemingly foreign to himself, I thought I would enter into his mind as well as I could and go with him
The first step was to restore confidence, so I asked him, speaking pretty loud so that he would hear me through his closed ears, "Would you like some sugar to get your flies around again?"
He seemed to wake up all at once, and shook his headWith a laugh he replied, "Not much! Flies are poor things, after all!" After a pause he added, "But I don't want their souls buzzing round me, all the same
"Or spiders?" I went on
"Blow spiders! What's the use of spiders? There isn't anything in them to eat or?" He stopped suddenly as though reminded of a forbidden topic
"So, so!" I thought to myself, "this is the second time he has suddenly stopped at the word 'drink'What does it mean?"
Renfield seemed himself aware of having made a lapse, for he hurried on, as though to distract my attention from it, "I don't take any stock at all in such matters'Rats and mice and such small deer,' as Shakespeare has it, 'chicken feed of the larder' they might be calledI'm past all that sort of nonsenseYou might as well ask a man to eat molecules with a pair of chopsticks, as to try to interest me about the less carnivora, when I know of what is before me"You want big things that you can make your teeth meet in? How would you like to breakfast on an elephant?"
"What ridiculous nonsense you are talking?" He was getting too wide awake, so I thought I would press him hard
"I wonder," I said reflectively, "what an elephant's soul is like!"
The effect I desired was obtained, for he at once fell from his high-horse and became a child again
"I don't want an elephant's soul, or any soul at all!" he saidFor a few moments he sat despondentlySuddenly he jumped to his feet, with his eyes blazing and all the signs of intense cerebral |
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